Choices
Letting children participate in
decisions can increase cooperation and
guarantee follow-through. Make sure
that the choices given are all
acceptable to you.
Example: Ask a child if they want their
bedtime to be at 8:00 p.m. or 8:15p.m.,
with either choice being acceptable to
you. If a child refuses to choose, then
they have decided that you should make
the decision.
Social Skills
Teach social skills early. When it
comes to social skills, the earlier you
begin teaching them the better. The
prevalence of shyness among children is
believed to increase with age---from
roughly 20% of children in grade school
to 50% of children by the time they
reach adolescence. Why not give your
child a head start by teaching the kinds
of social skills that can stack the
cards I their favor?
How can I teach social skills:
-
Arrange play dates for your children
when they are young and seek out
safe places for your children to
interact with others and practice
social skills as they get older
(e.g., volunteer work, tutoring
younger children, clubs and other
structured activities with
supportive group leaders).
-
Teach your children how to enter and
exit groups and how to read other
people’s signals.
-
Make a game of practicing social
skills outside your home. Give
family members points for saying
“hello” to service people, shaking
hands when they meet people and
taking turns asking store clerks for
help.
How Do You Define a Healthy Family?
According to Joyce Nash in Binge No
More, “a healthy, functional family
encourages a positive and confident
self-concept in children, and parents
teach children to understand the
language of emotions. Well functioning
families encourage all members to
express their feelings, thoughts,
desires, and fantasies while respecting
the rights and boundaries of others.
Communication between family members is
clear, direct, honest, supportive, and
respectful. Each family member takes
responsibility for acknowledging and
helping to resolve problems.
Differences are worked out through
negotiation, and compromises are
reached. Rules are flexible and fair.
The atmosphere is open and spontaneous.
Mistakes are forgiven and viewed as
learning tools. All members of the
family are encouraged to explore and
express their uniqueness and pursue
their path in life. Anxiety is low.
Trust is high.”
